


Memories of the navigator

by miladypain



Category: One Piece
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Developing Relationship, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Love, Pre-Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26660839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miladypain/pseuds/miladypain
Summary: What if Sanji and Nami had fallen in love from the first time they met? The story between the two, narrated in the first person by its protagonist."I didn't choose any of this. I didn't choose to fall in love with him."
Relationships: Nami & Vinsmoke Sanji, Nami/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	1. First meeting

**Author's Note:**

> **Hi, I am the writer of this fic, and i just want to say English isn't my mother tongue, Spanish is it. I wrote this fic first in Spanish, and now I decide to use a translation software to bring to English. I check every chapter, but I want to say sorry because surely I will make a lot of errors. If you are a English native and you find any of them, please tell me. Thank you for reading!**  
>  \---------------------------------------------------------------------  
> I want to make it very clear that all the characters, names, creatures, places and situations that appear in this story belong completely to Eiichiro Oda, author and creator of One Piece.  
> I am only going to limit myself to drawing a story with some of his characters, trying to adjust to the canon as much as possible to achieve greater realism.  
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Narrated in fragments in the first person, this is the love story between Nami and Sanji, from their first meeting to the current state of the saga.

I have been travelling with them for several weeks now. Luffy and Zoro were a great help in getting rid of that self”conscious clown and Usopp... well, you can't say he's a great support in combat, but at least he's got us a boat.  
A boat... it's not very big, but it's a boat. I could take it and go far, far away. Where no one knows me, where I can be someone else... No! But what am I saying? I could never do that to Nojiko and the rest. Come on, Nami, it's not far now. With what I stole from Buggy and what I get from selling this boat, I'll almost have the hundred million Berries.  
Luffy give a scream that startled me. Finally we arrived at the restaurant where those two swordsmen known to Zoro were guiding us. Luffy decided to recruit a cook, a rather stupid idea as a doctor would be more useful to us. Us? Why do I say us? I don't even consider myself part of this crew of fools.  
I read ‘Baratie’ on the sign. Not bad considering it's an out-of-the-way restaurant in the middle of the East Blue. Suddenly, a cannonball hits the restaurant. Originating from our boat. I think I've joined the most useless crew in the world.  
  
Luffy is working as a waiter. It's not a joke. The captain of the crew I falsely joined is working as a waiter. I would be humiliated if it were not for the fact that it would be super easy to steal from such a stupid man.  
Zoro and Usopp are joking sitting next to me. I don't like the idea that we are going to spend some of the money I plan to steal on food.  
“Have you decided what to take?” asks a voice next to me that makes me jump.  
The waiter is so quiet that I didn't hear him coming. I turn to look at him, and my heart races inexplicably.  
Tall and blond, the young man carelessly pours water into our glasses. He wears a black suit with an elegant blue shirt. They are not tight clothes, but underneath they are well exercised muscles. He has fleshy lips on which rests a smoking cigarette, and a little lower down on the chin, you can see a not very thick goatee.  
He then turns towards me for the first time and looks at me. What deep blue eyes. But what am I doing? Why am I gawking at this waiter? I avert my eyes and try to engage in the conversation between Zoro and Usopp.  
Then an arm surrounds my chair while a hand places a plate with a juicy steak in front of me. I look for the source of this strange gesture and find myself surprisingly close to the elegant waiter, only now the expression on his face has changed radically.  
He looks at me like the hunter looking at his prey. He smiles too much and barely blinks. It is disturbing and unsettling. And now that I notice... he has a strange eyebrow, in the shape of a spiral? What's wrong with this guy?  
“What a beautiful lady, allow me to offer you the star dish of the house“ he says to me in a shrill, shrill voice.  
“ The dish of the house? No way, it's too expensive “ I answer without thinking.  
Zoro gives me a quick glance, weighing up my comment.  
“Of course, such a pretty girl doesn't have to pay anything, all your expenses are on the house” replies the waiter, taking a step away and moving exaggeratedly.  
But what's wrong with this weirdo? Is he really serious? As I look at him confused, the waiter detects another young girl at another table, and without a word, he turns around and goes to her. He repeats the same ritual of offering free food. Do you really think that can work with any woman? I get over him and start eating. The truth is that the steak is the most delicious I've ever tasted.  
They bring Zoro and Usopp their dishes and the meal goes on with complete normality. Nobody approaches us. Then the flirty waiter crosses my field of vision again, only this time he is not talking to another woman, but to another waiter. The truth is that he is very handsome without that salty expression on his face.  
What is happening to me? I think I've spent too much time between fish men and older pirates who have lowered my standards too much. Seeing someone of normal appeal has just shocked me, that's all.  
However, a part of me can't help but think that Zoro wasn't an old man or a fish man and I didn't just gawk at him when I met him...


	2. The first man who made me cry for a good reason

It's night, and the boat is sleeping. I've been standing guard these last few days, and Luffy and the others haven't tried to stop me. I need to be alone, to think, to reflect on everything that has happened. I thank them from the bottom of my heart, even if I can't find the words to express it out loud.  
A twinge of pain in my shoulder runs through my arm and I put my hand on the recent wound. It hurts more now than when the knife went in and out of my skin by my own hand. The memory of that moment brings all the others back to my mind.  
Arlong, his pirates, years of slavery under his command... I feel two tears fall down my cheeks and I bury my head in my knees. It's a learned act, to shrink me to hide when I cry, so the fishmen couldn't see my tears.  
It's silly at this point, as everyone has been in bed for a long time and I'm sitting under the tangerine trees we took from Cocoyasi, my home. But I guess it's not easy to put the whole past behind you all at once.  
“ Does your wound hurt again, Nami? “ asks a voice next to me, scaring me.  
I dry my tears in a hurry and breathe heavily through my nose. I look at Sanji, standing next to me, looking at me with a worried expression.  
“ I wasn't crying “ I hurry to lie.  
“ I didn't say that you were “ he replies by holding my gaze.  
Good point. I break eye contact because I can't stand the way he's looking at me. Of all my nakamas, he's the last one I want to talk to right now.  
“ What are you still doing awake? “ I ask changing the subject.  
“ I was just finishing up in the kitchen. This boat needed a good cook urgently “ he sits next to me, unfortunately, because I feel like being alone. "And I've prepared this for you too “ he adds, putting what looks like a flan in front of me.  
I take the plate and stare at it. It smells delicious, with that peculiar aroma...  
“ It is made of tangerine," explains Sanji. "I took the liberty of taking a few to prepare it for you."  
I don't know what to say. Sanji does things like that all the time, but he usually says things like a slug, or looks at me like I'm a piece of meat. Now he just stares at the horizon while lighting a cigarette that slightly illuminates his face. Yes, he is definitely very handsome.  
“ Crying is good, you know? “ he suddenly says in a low voice. "It brings out the bad in us, leaving room for the good things that should come. Don't let that stupid swordsman convince you that he's weak or anything.  
I can't help it, the tears roll down my face again, but this time I don't try to hold them back. I take a bite of Sanji's flan, although I find it hard to swallow because of the lump in my throat.  
“ It's delicious “ I mumble.  
The cook says nothing, just composes a half smile and closes his eyes.  
“ Why did you fight the fishmen? “ I ask him impulsively. "You didn't know me at all, for you I was just a woman who had just betrayed her crew.  
“ It wasn't because of what you were to me, it was because of what you were to Luffy.  
I look at him sideways, although he remains with his eyes closed. Sanji had appeared in Arlong Park with Luffy and the rest of them ready to fight the fishmen. I assumed that he had joined the crew, but no one has really mentioned the subject. I am tempted to ask him why but... who am I to question anything after what I have done.  
“ You are not a bad person, Nami “ he suddenly says. It scares me how he's practically read my mind. "You've just been faking it for too long.  
Those words stick out deeper than I expected. Could he be right after all?  
“ I'm sure you say that to all of women “ I reply half jokingly.  
“ No doubt about it “ he replies, taking a long puff and expelling the smoke.  
We remain silent for a while longer. The murmur of the waves, the soft rocking of the boat, water in all directions... It seems that the world has stopped at this moment. Sanji's cigarette is consumed, and it is the only proof that time is still moving forward. Finally he stands up and takes the empty flan plate with one hand, while he puts the other hand in his trouser pocket.  
“ It wasn't just for Luffy, you know? “ He whispers without looking directly at me, although I do stare at him. "I saw what was going on in that village too, and what you did for years to keep them safe. Nami, I saved you because I believed more in the girl who sacrificed herself for her family than in the thief who betrayed her crew."  
I blinked in perplexity, again not knowing what to say. It's amazing how that man can say so many stupid things during the day and then steal my breath with a simple phrase.  
“ Anyway, I'm going to bed now, I'm tired. If you get tired and want a relief, let us know."  
I see him disappearing as he comes down the stairs and I smile for the first time in many days.  
I'm glad that Sanji is travelling on this boat.


	3. The first time I really saw him

So this is Loguetown. The city of the beginning and the end, place of birth and death of the most famous pirate of our time: Gold Roger.  
Well, I imagined it bigger.  
Anyway, at least the clothes are good and cheap in the shops... and easy to steal. Well, I think I have everything I need, it's time to get back to the ship. I hope those idiots don't take too long. Zoro, Usopp and Sanji have said something about doing some shopping, although the one that worries me the most is Luffy, who wanted to go and see Gold Roger's place of execution...  
As I turn the corner I see Sanji standing at a fish stand, checking the goods. Luckily, he has not seen me. The truth is that I felt like being alone for a while, just shopping, to forget about everything. And with Sanji hovering around me drooling, that would be impossible.  
I'd better leave before he notices me, I decide, but then I realise one thing. The salesgirl at the fish stand... she's quite cute. And Sanji is looking at the fish and talking to her normally. Is it sure it's him? I squint my eyes and look better. The black suit, the curly eyebrow, the cigarette, the goatee that fits him so well... Yes, there's no doubt about it, it's Sanji.  
But what's wrong with me? I'm not supposed to let him see me, and here I am, spying on him. Sanji finally buys a fish, a tuna fish it seems, and while the girl is wrapping it up, he looks around, looking at me. Quickly he loses his normal person expression and the pervert returns.  
I hate it when he does that. Why is he being like that with me? He treats Luffy and the others as normal, why can't he talk to me as an equal just because I'm a woman? I don't know what he wants, to bother me, to laugh at me or if he really wants something else and thinks it's the best way to... No, how can that be, it's always like that with all women, it's impossible that he wants the same thing from all of them... or is it?  
But he wasn't treating the salesgril that way just now, though. I walk up to the stall, where he's waving at me.  
" Nami, are you shopping too, beautiful? " he tells me, taking the bag that the salesgirl holds for him, and we start walking at the same time. "What did you bought, clothes? I'm sure all of them will look fantastic in you."  
I roll my eyes. Oh, come on.  
" Yes, I need a good wardrobe, since we don't know where this journey will take us. We can find ourselves in extreme hot and cold conditions... So whenever you want you and I can exchange all our clothes " I say in a sensual voice and looking him straight in the eye.  
I don't know why I said that. At the time I thought it was a good idea, maybe if I catch Sanji by surprise he'll stop behaving like a slug for a moment... Well no, it seems I've only made it worse, now he's babbling intelligible things while clapping and dancing around me.  
We walk around like this for a while longer and I don't know where to hide, everyone is looking at us because of this jerk. Maybe he has a problem and lacks social skills when dealing with women. In that case I shouldn't get angry... it would be like getting angry with a real sick person.  
As I think about it, we walk near to another stall where fish is sold, this time the seller is a man. Sanji stops making the sounds of a dying deer and turns away from me to look at the stall.  
And there he is again. The man of my age, with a normal attitude, and attractive to a certain extent. I just noticed that he has a very nice smile when he's not smoking cigarettes.  
" Are you going to buy more fish? " I ask by standing next to him and pointing to the one he already has with him.  
" Maybe I will " he answers, it seems more for himself than to answer me. "It's cheap for this quality, and I don't know when we'll be able to restock."  
" But we will be at sea, we can fish whenever we want " I whisper to him in case anyone around us hears.  
" I don't know what kind of fish there will be in the Grand Line, but they will certainly be quite different from those here in the East Blue. It will take me a while to learn the best way to cook them...  
He keeps talking about cooking while pays and we start to walk again. Wait a minute... is he talking to me like a normal person? Now I'm even afraid to breathe loudly in case the pervert comes back.  
" ...of course, it would be much easier if we found the All Blue...  
" Sanji, do you really believe in the existence of the All Blue? " I ask him without being able to help it.  
He stops suddenly and I have to turn around to look at him.  
" Of course I do. It exists, and we are going to find it."  
" But geographically it is impossible for there to be a place where the four oceans meet."  
" Geographically, it also makes no sense for an island to remain hidden from the world for years, and there you have the marines and the pirates looking for the One Piece without a break."  
" It's different, because there was one person who claimed its existence. The All Blue is only a legend."  
" Raftel is a legend too, the only proof of its existence is the word of a dead man."  
That is true. Both the One Piece and the All Blue are just myths, but nevertheless Luffy and Sanji believe in them as the navigator believes in the water even though she cannot see it because of the fog... Wait, that's it. Now I am seeing the real Sanji, the other thing is just his facade. A facade that I don't know why he keeps, but it's not real.  
" Geographically it doesn't make sense, but I'll do it to him when we find him " I tell him by looking at him with determination.  
Sanji stares at me for a moment, and finally gives me a half smile. Half a more authentic smile than all the previous ones he has given me. He's very handsome when he smiles like that.  
I notice that I start to get red, so I turn my back to him and keep walking. I hear him following me. I also smile without him seeing me. I had misjudged him. Today I saw for the first time what Luffy saw from the beginning. You really only discover a person when they tell you about their deepest dreams and longings.  
" ...quickly, they are going to execute a pirate on the same platform...!"  
" ...he looks like a young boy with a very strange straw hat..."  
The people around us walk in a hurry and talk excitedly, in the direction of the square. I turn to look at Sanji, who has also heard everything.  
" Go get them while I'm chartering the boat," I say him, taking all their bags along with mine. " Hurry up, if Luffy does anything foolish, he will get the attention of the marines. "


	4. The first pirate fears

I turn my beer absent-mindedly over the bar. Honestly, I don't feel like drinking. I have too many things on my mind for it to start spinning.  
The log pose of my wrist seems to weigh about ten kilos. With everything that happened with that whale, I hadn't had time to assimilate it, but now we're here, resting in this Whiskey Peak tavern and with the whole night ahead of us to think.  
It is real, we have entered the Grand Line. Until now, it had been just something abstract, but suddenly I see myself here, this is really happening. Now I'm a pirate, and we go in search of the One Piece without knowing what we will find.  
The rest do seem to be enjoying the food and drink. I turn to look at them, Zoro drinks sake as if there was no tomorrow, exactly in the same proportion as Luffy eats meat while joking with Usopp. And then aside, Sanji is at a table surrounded by women looking like he is in paradise.  
I roll my eyes and snort. How can someone be so superficial and collect people like who collects stickers? I stand for a while and watch the log pose, which doesn't stop moving as it heads towards the next island.  
I notice that someone is leaning on the bar next to me, too close that I would like it. I turn to tell him to move away, thinking that it's some drunken pirate trying to pick up the girl. But no, it's Sanji. He looks at me normally, that is to say, he doesn't put on his slimy perverted face.  
" Are you okay, Nami? " he asks me.  
" Not as well as all of you, especially you " I answer him sharply.  
Too rough, what if he thinks I'm jealous or something? I see that he looks alternately at the table full of women and at me. Great, he's thinking about it. I have to say something to make it clear that I absolutely don't care what he does.  
" Women are more than just pieces of meat you use for fun, you know? " I add before he can say anything to me.  
" Of course," she answers with a smile, "we all deserve the same respect. Those girls and I have made it very clear what we expect respectively before... anything happens."  
" That's great " I look again at my still full beer. "Although you should go back to the table, you will be missed."  
" Maybe " I can see out of the corner of my eye that he's taking a stool and sitting next to me. "But some prefer the company of others women to my own " he whispers to me with a knowing smile that I can't help but imitate. "What's the matter with you, Nami? Seriously."  
He looks at me so intensely that I'm about to blush.  
" It's nothing. It's just... well, we're pirates now. At times I don't believe it, and I guess I'm having a harder time dealing with it than all of you are."  
" I understand you, it's the same for me. A month ago, I had assumed that my life would be the same forever, as a cook at the Baratie. And now so many things have changed..."  
" We will never have a permanent home again " I confess what I have been thinking for weeks. "I mean, nothing makes me happier than to have met you and we are a family, but... "  
" ...but now we just have to run away, always " complete my sentence.  
We both remain silent for a while, immersed in our thoughts. All around, I realised that Zoro is not there and that Luffy goes outside.  
" I don't want you to get the wrong idea, Nami " he tells me after a while. "I don't regret one iota that I joined the crew, but assimilating all the things that I won't be able to do anymore... is hard."  
" Yes... we can no longer form a stable family, for example " I remember Bellmere when I say this. "A pirate loses that option when they enlists, their family is their crew.  
" That doesn't worry me, it's never been in my plans " his eyes darken when he says this, and he proceeds to light a cigarette.  
" Never? Why? I mean... you obviously like women."  
" It would be very irresponsible for me to fall in love with someone " take a long puff and blow out the smoke.  
" Irresponsible? For falling in love with someone?"  
" Who cares " he says scratching his chin, as if he regrets having spoken too much. "I don't have that option anymore, now I'm a pirate."  
" Is that why you try to flirt with literally every woman who breaths?  
" That's why, and because if I'm honest with you, the fact that I don't want anything emotional with any woman doesn't mean that I don't want anything physical with some."  
Well, what he says makes sense. And as long as he makes his intentions clear and doesn't hurt anyone... The truth is that from his point of view, his attitude doesn't make me that angry. But it does inspire a certain sadness in me, that way of acting is just another barrier.  
" Be careful that no one feels anything for you either, Sanji " I tell him. "The last thing I would want is to fall in love with a pirate."  
I realize that his head is on the bar, he is sleeping. I get momentarily angry at having left me talking to myself, but it doesn't last long. I've never seen him asleep, and he has such a sweet expression with the cigarette out on his lips...  
Wait a moment, actually, he doesn't seem to be asleep. And he hadn't shown any signs of fatigue the whole time. I shake him hard by the shoulder but Sanji doesn't react. In tension, I look around. There are very few people left in the tavern and Usopp, at a table, is also unconscious with the same expression as Sanji.  
Something is not right. I have to find Luffy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	5. The first one who came to me

Little Garden is moving away on the horizon. Well, perhaps it is more correct to say that we are moving away from the island, but the idea is that we are moving to the next island. As Vivi explained to us, our next stop, Drum, has a very cold winter climate.  
It is amazing how the tropical climate of Little Garden can coexist so close to another one as different as Drum. I sneeze. Wow, it seems that my body is already preparing for that cold.  
I leave the stern of the boat to go and see the rudder. A chill runs through me from top to bottom. The truth is that I don't feel very well today. I slept little and badly last night. I go into the kitchen, and to my surprise it's empty. I was hoping to find Sanji preparing something to eat. Not that I wanted to see him or anything. I'm sure he's out there bothering poor Vivi.  
A twinge of pain pierces my temples and I have to lean against the table for a moment. Tiredness is taking a bigger toll on me than I thought. I check that the rudder is on its course and I decide to lie down for a while. Perfect, everything is correct.  
I go out to the deck to warn that I'm going to rest and that they should watch the direction in my absence.  
" Can you guys watch the rudder for a while? " I ask out loud.  
Luffy and Usopp are fishing overboard, talking and laughing with each other. Zoro is sleeping on the floor next to his katanas. Sanji is dancing around Vivi, who is playing with the duck, Carue.  
Nobody can hear me. Actually, my voice has barely left my body. I feel too weak, even to scream. I have to get closer to them. When I reach the stairs and stretch my foot to go down the first step, everything swings with a shake. I manage to hold on to the banister.  
The others don't seem to have noticed anything, but the world keeps spinning. I notice how my hand gets loose and I fall forward.  
" Nami! " I hear a voice screaming in the distance.  
I cannot distinguish who has called me. Everything has become dark, and I lose consciousness as I wait for the hit to the ground. But when it comes, it is less hard than I expected. One moment, I'm not on the ground, someone is holding me.  
I make an effort to focus my eyes and I can see Sanji looking at me from very close. There is a worried expression on his face that I haven't seen before. I sense a pang of warmth inside me. I feel safe in his arms.  
I try to tell him something, but my strength fails me. My head falls backwards, and the last thing I hear before I lose consciousness is the sound of footsteps approaching.  
" She's burning up, has a high fever " Sanji's voice is lost in the distance too.  
−−−−−−−−−   
I don't know how much time passes, I only see blurred images passing in front of me. I'm in bed, in the cabin. The rest are sitting around the bed, taking turns. I know they are talking, but the fever makes me lose my senses intermittently and I don't know what they are saying.  
The face that is repeated the most, both alone and with others, is Sanji's. It must be the effect of the fever, because I have the feeling that he spends his nights here, and he has to rest too, right?  
−−−−−−−−−−−  
I move. Someone is carrying me. Sanji, that's my first thought, but I see him walking beside me when I open my eyes. Then I see the straw hat before me. Of course, it's Luffy. I'm so cold... Wait a minute, is this snow? It looks like we're climbing a mountain. Where are we going?  
−−−−−−−−−−−  
I wake up and open my eyes. I have slept soundly in a refreshing sleep for the first time in days. And I don't seem to have a fever, or deliriums at least. I am lying on a bed, I stand up and look around. I don't recognize the place.  
" Luffy? " I say out loud. "Sanji? Guys?  
At that moment I hear footsteps approaching and the door opens. I open my mouth to ask where we are, thinking it's someone from the crew... IS THAT A REINDEER?  
−−−−−−−−−−−−  
I watch the spectacle in wonder from the deck of the ship. The course is already set and I can leave the helm for a while. It is a beautiful scene, the pink snow falls on the island of Drum, from where we move away, simulating cherry blossoms.  
I look at the others, who are watching as captivated as I am. At the stern of the ship, at the top of the stairs, I see Sanji smiling with a cigarette on his lips. I hesitate for a while, and finally I approach him and lean on the railing next to him.  
" How do you feel? " he asks, looking at me sideways.  
" Almost completely recovered. Chopper keeps checking my condition every moment, so I can't get any worse " I answer, and we turn around to watch the rest of the crew.  
" Hey... " I start to say with a whisper " thanks for accompanying Luffy to the castle. I've been told that you almost didn't tell.  
Sanji smiles slightly and looks back at the island.  
" Well, Luffy needed help and someone had to go, right? I would have done it for anyone."  
I can feel myself blushing. Doesn't he think I think...?  
" I know, I wasn't implying that... I know you weren't, I mean, it would have been the same if the others had...   
Sanji stares at me and keeps smiling. Why can't I stop babbling when he looks at me like that? Talking stupidly in front of him makes me angry with myself.  
" What I'm trying to say is only thanks! " I exclaim aloud without realizing it, but I quickly whisper again "And I would say it to anyone else who had come with me, as you said. You are not specially important to me either.  
He takes a long puff on the cigarette, and still doesn't lose that beautiful smile... but why do I think this just now?  
" I said I would have done it for anyone else, not that you are not especially important to me."  
I had the perfect reply ready, but this makes me speechless... What does he mean by that? I see how serious he gets all of a sudden, and that expression reminds me of something...  
" How did you get to me so quickly when I fainted? " I ask him as I realize it. "You were playing with Vivi, distracted. Luffy and Usopp were closer than you..."  
" I just saw you before they did. "  
" No. You were the furthest and yet you caught me before I fell. You should have been watching..."  
I stop talking when he extends his hand to my face. He caresses my cheek gently with his thumb. The touch of his skin is softer than I would have imagined, and it makes my heart races.  
" I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you, Nami " she whispers to me so softly that I can barely hear him.  
He seems to be debating between getting close or not, but finally he moves his hand away and walks away towards the kitchen. I stay on the deck, processing everything that just happened. I touch my face in the place where Sanji has caressed me, evoking the feeling his caress has given me.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	6. The first time I was afraid of losing you

The moon is in the waning quarter tonight, but it is still shining brightly. I sit and contemplate it on a stone bench on a balcony in Alubarna Palace. It is past midnight, and there is so much peace... Not a sound is heard, in contrast to the busy atmosphere that persists during the day.  
It is three days since the battle against Crocodile. Luffy has been sleeping all this time, but he won. We won, rather. It is strange to think of myself in these terms, but stranger still is how easy it has been for me to be part of everything. I guess I'm more and more of a pirate, and this is what pirates do all the time.  
" Is that you, Nami? " I hear a voice saying.  
" Sanji " I answer by turning to him.  
The cook also comes out of the balcony and approaches me. He's wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants, not a trace of his characteristic suits. These clothes give him a more informal and carefree air. He looks good, but I don't intend to tell him so as to wake up his pervert side. Although... lately he doesn't behave like a pervert we're alone actually...  
" Can't you sleep either? " he asks me, smiling.  
" Not at night " I deny " it's too quiet. When I close my eyes, everything comes to mind: the new rewards, the battles we have fought, our next destination...  
He does not respond immediately, but takes out his pack of cigarettes and lights one.  
" Do you want to go for a walk? " he says, expelling the smoke after the first puff.  
I hesitate momentarily. Is this a sincere offer or a womanizer's ploy? I look him in the eye. It's neccesary to look carefully, but Sanji's eyes are blue, that blue tone that the night sky takes on near the moon when it shines. And they convey warmth and calm.  
I accept his request and we start walking together. The royal palace of the Nefertari has many courtyards and gardens outside, still within the walls. In some of them, the traces of the battle against Crocodile are still seen, but Sanji avoids them on purpose.  
" It was the same for me the first nights," he says in a friendly voice. " I couldn't sleep at night, I only took short naps during the day when I heard the noise of the others on the deck. "  
" Oh, that's why you had so many bags under your eyes when we arrived at Reverse Mountain. I thought you were not sleeping because you couldn't cook enough for Luffy.  
Sanji laughs out loud and quickly is quite, recalling what time it is.  
" How did you get over it? " I ask him by getting serious again.  
" It's simple, we arrived at Whiskey Peak, and then at Drum, where I met several girls... it's easy to fall asleep after to get lai...  
I give him a nudge, getting annoyed. There he is, the usual pervert one. But he's looking at me funny, not lusty, right?  
" Come on, Nami, just kidding " he says giving me another gentle nudge. " You know I didn't leave you these days."  
My heart skips a beat remembering Drum. He literally didn't part with me when I fell ill. Not a single moment.  
" What thoughts did you have when you are member of Arlong's crew? When you went to sleep, I mean " he suddenly asks, adopting a more serious, though not entirely worried, expression.  
This surprises me. I hadn't thought about it for a long time, and I felt a twinge in my stomach.  
" I wasn't thinking much," I answer with a tiny voice. " Mainly I was afraid of pissing off someone from the Arlong gang, or that my maps weren't good enough and finally he would get angry and take it out on the people."  
" Well, next time you can't sleep, remember that. And think that it's only part of the past now. Whatever comes will be better ".  
That's good advice, although I don't say anything out loud. I am immersed in my thoughts as we walk. Sanji doesn't add anything until I break the silence.  
" Do you think about your life at the Baratie to sleep? You seemed to be happy there. "  
" I haven't always lived at the restaurant " she says in a bitter voice and frowning.  
I don't know if I should ask more, because Sanji stares ahead and his mind seems far away from here. He seems to notice it quickly himself, because he shakes his head and looks at me again with a smile.  
" Hey, I just noticed that you can walk well now," he says to change the subject. " Zoro says you broke your foot fighting. "  
" Ah yes, but finally it's not so bad either. It was more shocking to see my foot pierced from side to side than the wound itself. Chopper said that it didn't go through any bone, and that the muscle will heal correctly. "  
We began to comment on the details of the battle: the rest of our nakamas' fights, the clash of the two armies. The truth is that I lose track of time completely. Who would have thought that I could spend so much time talking to Sanji without feeling uncomfortable?  
" − ... And how was your confrontation with that okama? " I ask with curiosity, and at that moment I remember something I heard some soldiers say among them. " Is it true that you couldn't hit him while he was transforming into us?"  
" Who told you that? " He seems slightly upsetting. " Was it that idiot Zoro? Because when he was turning into him, I kicked him even harder. "  
" So he did turn into us? "  
" Yes, but I discovered how to make him return to his original appearance to beat him up. "  
" But why couldn't you just attack him? He wasn't really any of us. "  
Our walk took us to another balcony, at the other side of the palace. Sanji hurries up and went outside.  
" I had no problem when he transformed into them, but I was unable to hurt him when he transformed into you " he says without turning to me.  
I stop when I hear that. My heart skips a beat, although I have no idea why.  
" Sanji... you can't be serious. He could have killed you! " I exclaimed angrily. " You knew it wasn't me, you should have just thought..."  
" Don't ask me to use logic and reason to be able to hit you! " He interrupts me abruptly while turning around until he is in front of me.  
He looks at me intensely, and there is a fury in his eyes... No, it is not fury, it is something stronger: fear. He takes a step towards me and my body instinctively reacts by moving away from him. When he sees my reaction, his expression relaxes because of the guilt.  
" I'm sorry," he whispers. " I didn't mean to scare you... "  
" I am not afraid of you, but of what I have felt at the thought of losing you.  
He opens his eyes, surprised by my words. The truth is that I'm surprised too: what I just said was instinctive, without thinking about it first.  
" For that very reason I cannot hit anyone with your face " he says quietly.  
I stare at him. Sanji also looks at me so intensely that I can almost feel his gaze piercing my skin. My body moves automatically again, although this time forwards. The distance between us is reduced until it disappears and I fall into his arms.  
I hug him tightly and bury my face in his neck. He also holds me tightly against himself. I breathe in deeply so that my heart becomes calm. He smells of spices and soap, which makes my heartbeat increase more.  
At that moment I realise how thin the fabric of our clothes is, because I too am wearing only pyjamas. I can feel all their muscles hard and defined against my body. I have an uncontrollable desire to tear off our clothes to be able to feel skin on skin.  
But at that moment Sanji quickly takes me away from himself. I look at him annoyed, because I didn't want to separate myself from him, but quite the opposite. I see that he is watching two guards appear in the corridor, making their rounds. They greet us and we both return the greeting.  
This gesture brings me back to reality. What just happened? When the guards go away and we lose sight of them, we both look at each other. Sanji breathes shakily, like me, and looks at me with a grimace of pain on his face that I don't quite know how to interpret.  
" It's so late" he says, looking away and turning his back on me. "You should try sleep again. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and I'll go to bed too."  
" It would be better " I whisper in agreement. "Good night, Sanji."  
And I walk away from him, towards the bedroom we all share. When I arrive, everyone is still asleep. I go to bed, although I can't sleep all night. Sanji doesn't go back to his bed all night either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	7. We are partners

Robin is strange. I mean, she seems nice, she's smart, and Luffy trusts her, which is what mainly makes me trust her too, but she's strange. She looks at everyone as if she knows more about them than she should. I guess that's what happens when you've been part of a mafia all your life.  
I stop looking at Robin and go into the kitchen to turn the helm, we were going slightly off course. I open the door in the hope that he is not there but, unfortunately for me, Sanji is cooking there. I am so stupid. He is the cook, where else would he be?  
The truth is that I have been avoiding him since we left Alabasta. Well, I can't avoid him entirely, after all this is a very small boat sailing on the sea. But I try not to be alone with him.  
So we haven't talked about what happened in Alubarna. Although nothing happened either. I mean, we hugged, so what? I have also hugged the others a thousand times and I don't avoid them afterwards. This is an exaggeration on my part.  
"Well, you didn't want to tear off the clothes of the others while hugging them either" says the insidious voice in my head. All right, maybe it wasn't an innocent hug, but it was something impulsive, Sanji is in good shape and I can't help but be physically attracted to him... but in the end, reason prevails, always. I wouldn't have let anything else happens.  
I turn the helm slightly and look sideways at the cook. He acts as if I wasn't there, although it's impossible that he didn't hear me. Then I realise that avoiding being alone with Sanji hasn't been difficult. Perhaps I am not the only one avoiding someone.  
" What's for dinner? " I ask him as I approach the stove.  
He looks at me uncomfortably for a moment.  
" Stew " he answers by looking away again.  
" It smells good " I tell him.  
Okay, now this is getting weird.  
" Thank you " he mumbles as he chops up vegetables into small pieces.  
Well, maybe he's just concentrating and it's me exaggerating everything again. Maybe it was just a hug for him. But what about everything he said before that hug? Was he serious or...?  
" Hey, Nami, " he says turning to me and looking me straight in the eye. "About what happened in Alubarna... "  
Oh my God, now he wants to talk. I would have preferred that it meant nothing to him... No. Of course not. Something in me would break if it had meant nothing to him.  
" I have sleeping fine these days" he finally says. "You're sleeping well too, aren't you?"  
I keep looking into his eyes, so I know he doesn't talk about sleeping.  
" Yes," I finally answer. "Yes, I sleep very well."  
I smile and he smiles back at me. That sincere smile that only has been seen by me, because he reserves it for when we talk alone. We are fine.   
At that moment someone enters the kitchen and I instinctively take a step away from Sanji, although I realize at once that this seems very suspicious. Ready to face the questioning of Luffy, Chopper or Usopp about what I was talking to Sanji, I turn around. But it's neither of them, it's Robin.  
She sits down at the table and starts reading a book without saying anything. I return to the helm and pretend to move it, although I have just corrected the course and we are going in the right course. After a few moments, Sanji mumbles that he needs wine and goes down to the cellar to get it.  
We are both left alone, in the middle of an uncomfortable silence.  
" I've seen the way you look at him," she says, breaking that silence.  
" Who? What? What are you talking about? " I try to play dumb, but we both know I can't do it.  
" You seem to feel a lot of things when you look at him. Joy, fear, love, anger, doubt... It's funny, he seems to feel the same things when he looks at you without you noticing."  
Sanji comes back at that moment, so I can't answer Robin. He lights up a cigarette and continues to prepare the meal. He and Robin talk happily, but I can't hear them.  
How does Sanji look at me? We're fine, he said so himself. The Alabasta thing meant something, but we're fine. Everything is normal between us. We are fine.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------  
That same night, I keep thinking about what Robin told me while I water the tangerines. How did Sanji and I look at each other? Is it so obvious that everyone has noticed? Well, obviously not everyone. They are not so discreet as not to comment on anything. Only Robin seems to notice it.  
It's late now, everyone should be asleep, except Chopper, who is on duty tonight. But he's concentrated on looking at the sea and hasn't even noticed I'm down here. I take a deep breath to finish making up my mind, and walk to the kitchen.  
Sanji is inside, sitting on one of the chairs smoking a cigarette. Great, he has to smoke right now. I always lose my concentration when I see him smoking. He looks at me with curiosity.  
" What would have happened if no guard had shown up? " I blurt out.  
" What are you talking about? " he asks me with a smile, playing down my question.  
" What would have happened, Sanji? "  
The smile fades from his face and he takes a long puff on the cigarette.  
" What would you have wanted to happen? " he finally says.  
His question leaves me confused.  
" I don't know " I finally admit it.  
" Me neither. That's why I'm glad that guard showed up. "  
I don't know what to say. I had come to demand answers from him that I didn't have myself. Or maybe I did have them but I just didn't want to find out.  
" We are nakamas. Partners " he continues to say. "Just partners. Because if we were anything else, one of us should say so. "  
He is giving me a chance. He's leaving the decision up to me. He will accept what I decide.  
" Yes, that's it " I answer while I swallow hardly. "We are partners."  
Sanji smiles falsely and puts out the cigarette in the ashtray.  
" It's late. " I tell him. " We should go to sleep now. "  
I turn my back on him and get ready to leave the kitchen when he calls my name and gets up quickly from the chair. I turn to him again and find him a few inches away from me.  
Without saying anything, he draws me to himself and holds me tightly in his arms. It catches me by surprise, and before I think about it, my arms are embracing him too. My heart is already out of control, and my head is about to turn off, but he pulls me away again, like in Alubarna.  
He looks at me with a certain sadness on his face, like someone saying goodbye to someone he doesn't know if he'll ever see again.  
" I hope you sleep well " he says to me in a whisper before letting go of me completely and leaving the kitchen.  
I stay there for a moment, assimilating what has just happened. Well, we've made that clear, haven't we? We are partners. Between us there is the same as with the rest. We are partners. Partners who embrace each other as if the world was ending.  
Oh, bloody hell. We are not partners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	8. Temptations

Sky island. How the hell are we going to get to Sky island? The name itself says it is in sky, and we have a ship. It sails on water, not air. Not to mention that it probably doesn't even exist a sky island.  
I look at the others. Luffy obviously wants to go, Chopper is as excited as he is, Zoro is sleeping and the rest seems resigned. If Luffy wants to go, we'll go.  
" ...I know it, it's a very famous tale in the North Blue " I hear Sanji's voice saying it.  
I turn to look at him. He's talking to Robin about a children's book they've found. Sanji proceeds to tell the tale and I listen to him at first, but I stop listening after a few sentences. Anyway, it's just a boring children's tale.  
Which makes me think... why does Sanji know those stories? I thought he grew up at the Baratie, with Zeff, and that's in the East Blue...  
A man with a strange hairstyle approaches us, and that distracts me from my thoughts momentarily... is it a chestnut he has on his head?  
  
It's past midnight and Luffy hasn't returned yet. I go outside to get some air. In theory, all of us are trying to sleep, except Chopper who is treating Cricket for the wounds caused by the pirates.  
Bellamy and his gang arrived while we were in the woods trying to catch a bird. They beat up our host and those two monkeys, so Luffy went to look for them in the village. But he hasn't returned yet. None of us can sleep until the captain returns.  
The door of the house opens and Sanji goes outside too. He lights up a cigarette and approaches to the wooden log where I'm sitting, sitting next to me too.  
" He's ok " he says after a few moments. " He'll be back soon."  
" I know," I answer. " It's Luffy."  
We are both silent for a while. The truth is that it is a beautiful night, without moon, and almost all the stars can be seen.  
" How did you know that tale? " I ask suddenly. " I thought you grew up in the East Blue, with Zeff. "  
" I did. But before I lived a time in the North Blue, although I don't remember much. My... real family is from there. "  
" So what happened that you ended up helping out in the kitchen of the boat where Zeff found you? "  
Sanji doesn't answer, he just looks down and takes a long puff.  
" I don't like to talk about it. It happened a long time ago, and I don't remember it well anyway. "  
I look at him, and right now he looks like a heartbroken child more than the strong, confident man he usually is. I feel an impulsive desire to embrace him, but this time not to increase the physical contact between us, but to hold him in my arms and make him feel that he will always be safe with me. However, I don't. Instead, I look for his hand resting on his leg and squeeze it tightly.  
" Your _biological_ family " I stress " is from the North Blue. Your real family isn't there. One part of it is at the Baratie, and another part here with you. "  
That last words are just a whisper, but I know he hears it because responds to my squeeze with equal force. He turns his head towards me. There are no tears in his eyes, but the expression on his face shows deep emotion.  
" Nami, I... " he whispers.  
I deny with my head. There is no need to say anything. Our foreheads touch each other and I close my eyes. Sanji shakes his head, gently bumping his nose against mine, and I notice that he raises his neck, getting his mouth close to mine...  
" Luffy is back! " shouts Ussop from the entrance of the house.  
I open my eyes quickly. Sanji is already standing (how did he get up so quickly?), and I look at the others, hoping that none of them have seen anything. Robin looks at me with complicity, but nothing else. . Luckily, all the crew pays attention on our captain.  
I also stand up and approach Luffy, but I can't stop thinking about what just happened.  
  
A giant geyser. This is how we are going to go to the sky island. Sailing through a giant geyser that ascends towards the sky, guided by a bird with a stiff neck and aboard a ship that now looks like a chicken. What could go wrong? It is an INFALLIBLE plan.  
But well, I am the navigator and I sail where my captain orders me to. If anyone is going to take a ship to the sky island, it will be me. I check the helm, the sails and the wind. We're in the right place, but that geyser hasn't exploded yet.  
I block the helm and go out on deck to wait. After all, it is no longer necessary to operate the helm. Either we go upstream or the boat, along with all of us, is destroyed. At that moment we see another boat approaching the Merry. Well, it's not a boat, it's more of a raft, and the man who Luffy, Zoro and I met at tavern is on it.  
He is shouting something about some rewards, and Luffy seems to be shouting something too, but I stop listening to them because I notice something. It's like a tremor, but it's nothing like the crashing of the waves. It is something else, something that seems to come from the depths.  
Then it hits us hard from below. We are all thrown upwards, but fortunately we fall back onto the deck instead of into the sea. I have crushed someone... Sanji, of course.  
" Are you ok? " he asks me with a wince.  
I nod.  
" How about you? "  
" It's hard enough to resist kissing you without you throwing yourself at me " he mumbles, gently tossing me aside.  
I look at him without being able to believe it.  
" What? "  
At that moment another jolt hits the boat and I'm thrown again. But this time Sanji jumps, grabs me and we fall besides the stairs, so he takes the opportunity to grab hold of the railing and hold me under his body.  
" Wow, who's throwing himself on top of who now? " I can't help telling him.  
He looks at me and smiles, lifting only one corner. I'm about to smile him too, when I see the problem behind him. That's why the boat keeps rocking.  
" The sail must be unfurled! " I shout to the rest of the crew.  
Sanji steps aside and we both go to help the rest.  
Minutes later, the boat is stabilized and the course is correct. We are safe. Well, as safe as a ship sailing blindly into the sky can be. After checking the helm, I leave the kitchen to look at the view.  
" If you have vertigo it's better not to look down " Sanji tells me, by the kitchen door.  
" I don't know if I have vertigo, and this doesn't seem the best time to check it " I answer him.  
" Don't worry, I'll catch you if you faint."  
" Thanks, but I don't want to complicate your life by falling on you again. "  
Sanji laughs and approaches to me to whisper:  
" I didn't say that I mind having to resist kissing you, did I? "  
That makes my heart race and my face blushes. Damn it, and we are in front of everybody. Sanji is too close to think clearly, so all I can do is look down.  
" My goodness, we're really high " I comment out loud.  
And I'm not just saying that. The height is quite impressive, to the point that my legs lose strenght and I have to stop looking. I look back at Sanji, who stares at me for a few moments before saying:  
" Are you thinking of pretending to faint so that I hug you again? "  
This time is me who smiles at him enigmatically before answering:  
" Maybe. "  
And I go back into the kitchen without saying anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	9. I won't apologise

Enel has been defeated. Almost none of us told it, but finally Luffy beat him. Now we all are recovering from our wounds. Each at his own pace, and while our captain is already jumping around, others are still forbidden to get out of bed.  
I close the door of the boys' cabin tightly, which makes Sanji, who was asleep in his bed, wake up with a start.  
" Oops, sorry, did I wake you up? " I ask him sarcastically.  
" Nami? " he says in a hoarse voice. "What's happens?"  
" Nothing, I just came to see how are you."  
Sanji sits up on the bed and rests against the pillow. His entire body, except for his face, is bandaged from the wounds caused by the lightning that struck him.  
" How long have I been sleeping? How are the others? "  
" They are fine. Well, more or less. They're healthy compared to you, anyway " I tell him scathingly.  
He laughs, as if I had made a joke.  
" Come on, Nami, don't be silly, I'm perfectly fine. "  
" Sanji, you've been unconscious since Enel's attack struck you. And that was two days ago. "  
The cook stops smiling and looks at me seriously.  
" I don't want you are worry about me. "  
" I'm not worried " I blurt him. "Well, not since Chopper said you were out of danger."  
" Why are you angry? " He asks the right question.  
" Why? Are you really asking it? " I raise my voice, close to scream. " You almost died. "  
" In my defense, my intention was not to die at any time. "  
" It's not funny. "  
" No, it's not, and there's no reason to get angry either. I fought, I was defeated, I am recovering, and that's it. What is it that bothers you so much? "  
I walk until I stand with my arms crossed beside his bed.  
" That you had already fought, you had already been defeated, and yet you showed up again in front of the enemy because I was in danger. "  
Sanji says nothing. He just massages his eyes and mumbles:  
" I need a cigarette. "  
He searchs them on the night table without success.  
" No way," I answer, "Chopper says no cigarettes until your ribs are fixed. "  
" Nonsense, Chopper has forbidden me to smoke even when I'm healthy. I think there is a packet in the kitchen... "  
He gets out of bed and stands up, ready to walk past me.  
" Wait, you haven't eaten anything for two days " I tell him by holding his arm.  
He shakes himself loose.  
" I'm fine... " but he can't take two steps before his knees hit the floor.  
" Sanji, you can't get up yet " I go up to him and help him stand up.  
" ...it was just a dizziness because I stood up too quickly. "  
But his legs fail again and he drops all his weight on me. I carry him to the bed again, where he falls like a dead weight. I help him to lie down properly, with his head on the pillow.  
" I know I shouldn't ask you this... but stay for a while " he whispers.  
Hearing him in such a weak voice breaks my heart.  
" I should go " I answer.  
" I know, but please stay... "  
" No, you don't " I interrupt him. " Imagine how it would be like if I left and you didn't know whether I'll come back or not. Because that's how I felt when you stood in front of that...  
" Nami, we're pirates," he says as he sits next to me, "you can't ask me not to risk my life."  
" All I ask is that you don't risk it for me. "  
" I won't promise you that," he says, holding my face firmly and softly at the same time. " And I won't apologise because I will do it again as many times as it takes. "  
" Very well " I answer as I turn my body towards him and face him. " Because I won't apologise for this either. "  
Sanji looks at me, confused, and opens his mouth to say something, but I don't know what it is because I block his lips with mine. A groan of surprise dies in his throat seconds before his tongue responds to mine.  
My heart is racing, but my head can't process anything. I just feel Sanji, I inhale his smell of clean bandages, I taste the bitter medicine on his lips, and my hands get tangled in his hair.  
He surrounds me with his arms and one of his hands gently squeezes the back of my neck. And suddenly, that hand pulls me away. I open my eyes and see that he is looking at me too. Both of us are gasping for breath.  
" Don't do that again " he implores me with a whisper.  
" Only if you promise not to die for me. "  
Sanji sighs in defeat and closes his eyes.  
" I'll never promise you that " he repeats resolutely.  
He pushes me further away and lies down with his back to me.  
" I want to rest," he says, "would you mind leaving me alone?"  
What? Is this idiot really not going to tell me anything else?  
" Sure " I answer, with the cynical tone with which I started to talk to him.  
I leave the room, close the door and then a terrible doubt assails me. What if he didn't want to kiss me? And he has only responded unconsciously to that kiss because he is convalescing and didn't expect it?  
What have I done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	10. Something breaks

The atmosphere is very lively right now on the boat, having recovered the Merry from Foxy's crew. While everyone is joking on deck, I go in for a moment to adjust the course of the helm.  
After a while he also enters the kitchen. Strange, he must not have realised that I had entered earlier. I don't know if I'm paranoid, but I think Sanji is avoiding me after the kiss on Skypiea. Then he notices my presence and for a moment, the smile freezes on his face, although he quickly recovers.  
No, I'm not imagining it: he avoids me. I finish setting the course and approach him with an innocent facial expression.  
" Are you preparing the meal? It smells good. "  
" Thank you very much" he answers, kindly but distantly. "Although after that strange contest today, I think the rest will eat anything. "  
" At the end it's been fun. And you looked so cute in that ball shaped hat. "  
" You're always pretty, Nami " he tells me in his perverted voice, which he puts on when we're in front of the others.  
" We're alone, you don't have to pretend. "  
" Pretend what? That you're pretty? " he says laughing, and for a second, it seems like a sincere laugh.  
But he doesn't fool me. Not anymore.  
" Aren't we going to talk about the other day? " I ask him blunty.  
Sanji looks at me without understanding. Well, pretending not to understand.  
" About the other day? "  
" In Skypiea. After Enel was defeated " I decide to play along, see how far he goes.   
" What do you mean? I have very vague memories of those days, I was still convalescing. "  
" Of course, it's true. So you don't remember anything at all? "  
" I have loose images that come to me, but not the entirety. I'm sorry."  
I take a step towards him, with an innocent face, and Sanji smiles at me again, sure that I'm believing all his lies.  
" Don't worry, it's okay " I take another step and stand in front of him, almost touching him. " I accept your apology. Although I don't intend to apologize for this. "  
And I quickly lean forward, but he, as I expected, instinctively turns away with a scowl. There it is, no more masks. Now I'm in front of the real Sanji.  
I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow, looking at him triumphantly. He makes a face of disgust, knowing that he's been discovered.  
" You didn't remember, huh? "  
Sanji looks around making sure we are completly alone.  
" Of course I remember," he whispers. " I've hardly slept, tormented by that memory. "  
Did he just say "tormented"?  
" I've hardly thought of anything else since I've known you," he continues. " I'd rather lose a hand than that memory. "  
My heart is racing. I didn't imagine it, he did respond to the kiss.  
" And why do you pretend it didn't happen? " I ask him, whispering too.  
" I try to make things easier for both of us, because it can't happen again. "  
" What? But I thought that you too..."  
" Yes, me too. When I see you, I stop paying attention to what's around. Knowing what your lips taste like is consuming me. But I don't think it would be honest for the rest of the crew."  
" Wait. The rest? " that catches me by surprise. " What does anyone else have to do with this?"  
" Everything. When I'm with you I find it hard to concentrate on anything else but you. I can't stop thinking about you, and I'm afraid of failing the others. "  
" Sanji," I hold his face in my hands, "that's not going to happen. It's silly to think that, it's like saying that you can fail the others when you're cooking... "  
" No, it is not " he interrupts me. " I've been thinking about what you said that day. And I think it's best to promise you what you asked me for. I won't risk my life for you, so it will be easier for you too. I will protect you whenever I can, obviously, but just like the rest."  
His words hit me and I get a lump in my throat. I try to say something, I want to shout at him that I don't want that promise. That I only said it because I was afraid of lose him... But no words come to my mouth.  
Sanji draws me to himself and gently hugs me. He gives me a long kiss on my forehead and buries his face in my hair, inhaling. I savour every sensation, knowing that when he leaves me and we separate, the distance between us will be more than just the physical space between our bodies.  
But finally he lets me go. I look into his eyes and see that something inside him is breaking too. I can't see him like that, I don't want to. I look away and return to the helm. I pretend that I am adjusting the course again, although it is perfectly fine. Behind me I hear Sanji continues to prepare the meal.  
We remain silent the rest of the time until we hear screams from the deck. Apparently there is a strange man sleeping on the beach and Robin says he is dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	11. Hard but real

Luffy and Usopp are arguing. Robin is leaving us. CP9 defeats us. Sanji is on that train. Luffy declares war on World Government. Sanji is defeated. We jump into the void. The Merry is gone.  
I wake up abruptly and sit up on the bed. Cold sweat runs all over my body. I take a deep breath to calm down. It's all right, I'm fine, we're fine, it's all over now. I look around, I'm alone in the bedroom we all share. Galley-La company has lent us this house while we recover.  
I check the time: it's almost midday. Lately we all have altered our sleeping schedules, but I know that the rest have no problems sleeping. I do. I barely get a wink of sleep, and when the tiredness overcomes me, I have these recurring nightmares about the last few days. Damn it, I just want a full night's sleep.  
I get up as I don't want to spend the whole day in bed. The house is quiet, the rest must be outside. My belly is rumbling, so I walk to the kitchen to get something to eat. I open the door and discover that I am not really alone in the house.  
Sanji is preparing lunch and looks up at me, but says nothing.  
" Good morning " I say to him as I look for food.  
He says nothing.  
" Where are the others? "  
" They has gone out " he answers dryly.  
" All of them? They should be careful, we are even more wanted now than before, if possible."  
He keeps looking at me with a frown for a while longer before exclaiming:  
" Are we not going to talk? "  
Bingo, I found a bag of crackers. They are so good.  
" We're already talking, aren't we? " I ask him.  
I know exactly what he wants to talk about but I'm not going to start that conversation. Sanji grabs my arm and turns me until I'm standing in front of him. It's the closest we've been in many days, and that makes my heart beat faster. But I won't let him notice.  
" I'm sorry " he says.  
The surprise must be reflected in my face right now, because that was the last thing I expected to hear.  
" ...what? " I ask.  
" I want to apologize for what I did in Skypiea. After the other day in Enies Lobby, I... " he looks around as looking for the words in that kitchen. " Now I understand what you felt when I sacrificed myself for you."  
Sanji takes a step back and runs his hand through his hair, visibly overwhelmed.  
" I... I had never felt so helpless as I did at that moment, when I saw you heading towards Kalifa, to fight for me, and I could do nothing to protect you... "  
" Hey " I gently interrupt him by touching his arm. " It's all right. I'm fine, you're fine, we're both fine. Don't give it another thought. "  
" Yeah... it's just... We had agreed not to treat each other as anything more than partners and... "  
" No " I cut him. " You " I emphasize that word" decided that, alone. I wanted to..."  
I don't know. I didn't know when I kissed him and I don't know now. I don't find the words because I don't know what I want to explain. Sanji looks at me and raises an eyebrow.  
" Yes? What did you want? Where were you going with this? Go ahead, continue " he urges me to continue.  
I cross my arms and turn my back on him. I bite my lip.  
" Who cares " I answer. " It's clear that you didn't want the same thing, so it doesn't matter anymore. "  
Sanji sighs deeply.  
" That's why I wanted us to be just partners," he says. " It makes things easier. "  
Those words make something explode in me.  
" But I don't want things to be easy! " I yell at him, turning around to look at him. " If I wanted my life to be easy I wouldn't have become a pirate, I would have stayed in my village. But I want real things. That's why I travel the world as a fugitive and that's why I'm risking my life for you. Because I don't know if I'll survive this day, but if I do, I want it to be worth it, and that everything I've felt has been real and authentic. I don't care if it's hard, Sanji, it's real, and that's why I want it. If we're going to fool ourselves just because it's easier that way... count me out. I could have died in Enies Lobby and you in Skypiea. I don't know how much time I have, what I do know is that I don't want to waste it on something easy... if it's not real. "  
Sanji opens his mouth and closes it again, without saying anything. He looks away.  
" Hey, anyway, forget it " I tell him in a calmer voice. " It's obvious that you don't think the same, and I understand that, so I'll respect your decision... "  
" Damn it, Nami! "he interrupts me screaming before taking a stride towards me, grabs me by the waist to draw me to him and kisses me passionately.  
That gesture takes me by surprise but my body, which has longed for its contact more than my mind was aware of, answers for me before I can think of anything. I respond to his kiss, my hand gets tangled in his hair.  
Sanji squeezes his hand against my back, to bring me closer to him. I only wear a thin T-shirt as pyjamas, like him, so I feel his chest against mine perfectly. His hand keeps moving, this time down to the end of my back and underneath my shirt.  
I had imagined a thousand times the feeling of that hand on my skin, but it can't compare with reality. Its touch leaves a suffocating heat wherever he touches me. My hands imitate theirs and also look for his skin under the T-shirt.  
Sanji stifles a moan and pushes me backwards without taking off from me, until hitting the counter. Then his mouth separates from mine and goes down with kisses to my neck, where he bites me gently. Now it is my throat that emits a moan.  
I pull his hair back until his face is in front of mine. We both gasp, catching our breath, but he immediately kisses me again, this time more urgently. His hands reach down to my thighs, and I jump to wrap my legs around his waist, drawing him even closer to me. He sits me on the surface of the counter and I have to rest my hand so as not to fall backwards because of the intensity with which he kisses me.  
I bite his lip gently and pull it softly, separating us for a moment. Our eyes meet for the first time and we both read the same in the other's eyes: more, more.  
Sanji comes back for my neck, but this time one of his hands moves from my back to ascend to my breast. I hadn't noticed that my nipples had hardened. He grabs my chest firmly, but not too tightly. I hug him tighter between my legs and notice how he gets hard too.  
I lift his shirt to put my hands underneath. Sanji's all abdominal and chest muscles are perfectly defined. I run my fingers all over them, including those on his back. He has goosebumps everywhere.  
At that moment he stops kissing my neck and goes up to bite my earlobe while moving his hand on my breast to caress the nipple between his fingers. I can't stop a high-pitched moan from coming out of my mouth and I hear him laughing softly.   
He raises his head until our eyes meet, bites his lip and kisses me again. His hand continues to caress and gently pinch my nipple, causing a wave of heat that runs through my entire body.  
I hold on to him tightly and dig my nails into his back. I move one of my hands down, looking for the elastic waistband of his pyjama trousers, ready to put my hand in...  
Then we hear the street door open. We immediately move our hands away from each other and look at each other with our eyes wide open. I jump off the counter and take several steps away from Sanji. Seconds later, Chopper and Robin enter the kitchen with many bags.  
Sanji talks to the reindeer so normally, but I still have to process everything that just happened, so I don't hear anything they say. I notice that Robin looks at us both alternately and smiles at me without anyone else seeing her. She also directs a significant glance at my T-shirt, and I remember that I'm in pyjamas and without a bra. After Sanji... well, I can see everything.  
I take the packet of crackers that I had gone to get and run away from there.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	12. Fog

A living skeleton.  
A living, talking fucking skeleton. That's what we found on board the ghost ship. Damn it, more and more strange things we find in our journey through the Grand Line. This time, fortunately, it was not a threat. I liked that skeleton.  
But now we're in the middle of the Florian Triangle. Lost, aimless, and I have no idea how to get out of here. The others don't seem to be worried, but I have a bad feeling about it.  
I finish the last entry in the logbook and go outside. It's been several hours since nightfall. With such thick clouds,the moon and the stars can't be seen, so the darkness around the Sunny is absolute. The only source of light comes from the lantern we leave on every night.  
It's cold, I put my arms around my body and rush into the cabins when I see that the lantern is not the only light on the ship. A faint glow comes out of the hatch in the kitchen door. I climb the stairs and look inside, but the glass is translucent and nothing can be seen.  
I hesitate to go in or not. The last time one of us caught Luffy sleepwalking and stealing food he ended up falling overboard. And I don't particularly feel like bathing in these mysterious waters... I finally summon up the courage and go inside.  
It's not Luffy who's there. Sanji is sitting at the kitchen table by candlelight. He has several papers in front of him but he doesn't read them, he just has a absent gaze and a tense face. When he sees me appear, his expression relaxes.  
"I thought everyone was already asleep" he says.  
I close the door behind me, and I notice that the key is placed inside. I turn it until the latch slides and the door is locked.  
"Me too " I answer. " I was finishing writing down today's course when I saw the light and thought..."  
I don't finish the sentence. I don't have to, and Sanji knows it. He smiles at me. The boat was too quiet for Luffy to sleepwalk. No, I came here waiting to find just what I found. That's why I've locked from inside so that no one else can get in.  
I sit next to him, on the built-in sofa on the wall opposite the countertop. Sanji puts an arm around me and I go as close to him as possible.  
" What are you doing? "I ask him, pointing to the table.  
"I check the food inventory. And also... I was thinking about how to ration it if necessary. I don't want to imagine the worst, but we don't know how many days we'll be in this fog."  
"You are right. I don't know what direction we're following, either if we're following one. I have no way of getting my bearings during the day, and at night... this fog is so suffocating that I avoid looking outside the ship."  
"I can't sleep. Not only because of the fog. I've run out of cigarettes. I didn't buy at Water 7 because I thought we'd be in Sabaody soon. "  
I burst into laughing without making much noise so as not to wake anyone up.  
"Only you could have that problem. Look at the positive side: you can take advantage of it to quit. "  
Sanji turns to look at me, extends an arm, lifts my legs and puts them on his. With the hand that was around my shoulders, he begins to caress a lock of my hair. With the other, he gently caresses my thigh with his fingers.  
"You love it when I smoke," he says in a husky voice.  
"That's not true," I reply, laughing. "It's a disgusting vice. It destroys your lungs, the smoke smells bad, you leave ashes everywhere... " His head has been leaning towards me little by little and now we are only a few centimetres apart "...and sometimes I wish I were that cigarette between your lips."  
He smiles again, triumphant.  
"Not being able to smoke only makes me nervous, but what keeps me awake is something else. "  
" What's that? "  
"You " he answers with a moan as his hand pushes my head towards him and we kiss desperately.  
I grab his neck to move closer. He no longer caresses my thigh gently but clings to it as if it were the last lifeline in a shipwreck. The kiss causes a heat wave which spreads in my body and I sit on top of him. I feel that I am not the only one that the kiss has excited.  
I move away from his lips to catch my breath and see that we are both panting. Sanji removes his hands from my body and brings them down to the sofa.  
"Nami", he whispers to me, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. Not here on the ship, it's too risky, we shouldn't... "  
Oh, oh, no, I know that tone. It's the one he uses when starts feeling guilty and sorry. Before he can say anything else, I take off my t-shirt with a quick and elegant movement. The words die instantly in his mouth because I'm not wearing a bra.  
I lean to him again and continue to kiss him. He runs his hands around my naked back and I get goose bumps. He grabs me tightly and lifts me up to lie down us on the sofa. He leans on his elbows so as not to crush me and I take advantage of that little gap between our two bodies to unbutton his shirt a little.  
Sanji interrupts our fiery kiss again, but this time it's to continue kissing me following the shape of my jaw up to my neck. When he gets there, he combines the kisses with soft bites.  
I finish unbuttoning the last button and he takes off his shirt urgently without stopping licking my neck. He throws it down on the floor and his hands grab my waist. I surround him with arms and legs so that our naked breasts are skin to skin. I hear a low moan escaping from him beside my ear.  
His hands rise quickly to my breasts and when he caresses my nipples, it's me who moans. I move one of my arms from his back to the belt of his trousers and start unbuckling it. However, with only one hand I find it impossible and after several clumsy attempts, Sanji sits up laughing.  
" Do you need help? "he says.  
I laugh as well, and finally manage to remove his black leather belt. I have my hand on the button of his trousers when he takes it.  
" Are you sure you want to do this? "he asks quietly.  
" And you? "I tell him with a mischievous smile.  
"Of course I do. More than anything else in the world. You are what I love most in the world. Just... "  
He seems to hesitate about to talk or not.  
"I was planning this moment differently. "  
"Wow, so you were planning this moment... "  
I cross my arms pretending to be angry and he laughs. That movement makes my breasts touch and lift, but Sanji doesn't look at them. He has a blank stare.  
"Well, what did you think? "I tell him by caressing his face with a finger to get his attention.  
"Actually, nothing concrete. I was just going to ask you for a date when we arrived in Sabaody..."  
My heart burst with happiness.  
"Oh... really? "I stand up, grab his head with both hands and kiss him effusively. " You are adorable," I tell him as we separate, "and I love the idea. Let's do it, let's have a date if we finally get there. But meanwhile, here, tonight... "my hands go back to his trousers.  
" If we finally get there? "he repeats, separating from me and sitting down completely. " Nami, you don't think we're going to get out of this fog, do you? "  
I stand up too, put my arms around his neck and kiss his neck.  
"I don't know, really. Common sense tells me no, but I don't lose hope " I answer him between the kisses with which I go down his jaw line. " But that doesn't matter to me now. Right now, here, I only care about you. "  
Sanji reacts very slowly. He turns his head towards me and holds my chin with one hand.  
"That's what worries me. That we only have this one moment. Tell me, would we be doing this if the threat of death were not hanging over our heads? "  
"Yes," I answer with intensity. " Yes, yes and a thousand times yes. We are pirates, remember? Having death present is something I do from the second I wake up to the last one I fall asleep. "  
" Don't you ever think what you would be like if you hadn't chosen this life? To be able to think and feel without fearing that... well, that maybe tomorrow the fog will still be there and end up swallowing us up forever.  
Sanji gets off the sofa and sits down on the floor with his back against the seat. I imitate him and we rest our heads on the cushion facing the ceiling.  
"I do think about it sometimes," I answer. " But the fog is there for everyone. Always present, the only difference is that we pirates can see it and are aware of it. "  
"I like the fog. It makes me feel the urge to live. It reminds me that we are not permanent, that there is only now. I'm not afraid of the fog, Nami. What scares me that one day it will disappear and we won't know how to live without it. "  
Something in my head clicks. Of course. How could I not have noticed before what is happening to him. I sit astride him legs. He seems surprised, but he doesn't push me away.  
"Say it again," I ask him.  
" Say what again? "  
"You know " I raise an eyebrow significantly.  
He smiles slightly, but finally pleases me.  
"You are what I love most in the world" he says.  
I hold his face in my hands and answer him:  
"I love you too more than anything else in the world. With or without fog."  
We remain like this for a few moments. I don't move this time. Now it's up to him to take the step.  
And he does.  
He finally does. He kisses me with passion, with urgency, with the need for physically demonstrate what words cannot. He lays me down on the floor, takes off my trousers and I do the same. It's a miracle we don't break them in the process.  
And we make love.  
First slowly, then quickly. We kiss all over each other, we moan softly, just for each other. We create our own fog between us and the world. And nothing else matters.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	13. A castle and the midnight gentleman

The first thing I feel is an excruciating headache. My ears are ringing, but the sound around me is getting clearer. I hear many voices talking at once, but I can't make out what any of them are saying. I open my eyes and blink several times to focus on the face before me. It's Robin, who looks at me with concern. She helps me to sit up carefully and I observe the scene around us.  
The sun is in the sky and it lights us up, which is a good sign. Our shadows are finally with us. Moria didn't manage to win after all. Luffy defeated him just before... Suddenly, I remember everything.  
" Luffy! " I exclaim with concern. Kuma was after him.  
"He's fine. Everyone's fine " Robin reassures me, looking at the crowd of people who are gathering just a few meters away from us. "Well, sort of."  
I can see Luffy sleeping peacefully on the floor with most of his body bandaged. Chopper is next to him tending to Zoro, who is covered in blood and looks like he's about to faint at any moment.  
" What happened? Where is Kuma? "I ask Robin.  
The girl looks at me and shakes her head, saying that she has no answer to either question. One of the pirates in the circle moves and I can see the person I've been looking for the whole time.  
Sanji, covered with wounds and bruises like the rest, is smoking anxiously and doesn't look away from Zoro. I recognize that expression on his face, he is worried about something. The strange thing is that it is because of Zoro, who is fine, and knowing the rivalry they have with each other.  
Then he looks up and our eyes met. When he sees me, his worried expression sharpens, which worries me. Perhaps I am wrong and his confusion is not about Zoro. I give him a tired smile, but he just gives a puff on the cigarette before turning around and walking away.  
Next to me, Robin stands up and holds out her hand to help me get up.  
"Come on, we all need to rest," she says.  
  
A few soft strokes wake me up from the deep sleep I'm in. I sit up in bed with a start. We have decided to rest in Moria's palace while we fully recover from the battle. Although this palace gives me the chills. I would have preferred to spend the night on the Sunny, but the rest of us didn't feel like walking to the ship.  
I lie down again taking a deep breath. It's just a gloomy palace, we're out of danger now. And I hear again the strokes that have woken me up. It seems they come from out. Is someone in the corridor? I jump up and grab the Clima Tact. I tiptoe to the door, carefully unlock it and put my hand on the knob. I count to three, then I open quickly and jump out ready to knock on whatever is in the hallway.  
A quick shapes moves out of the way of Clima Tact and grabs it with one hand instinctively. It is Sanji, who looks at me in surprise. Seeing that it is him, I relax and sigh.  
" What's wrong with you? "he asks me in a whisper.  
He opens his hand, I take the Clima Tact away and put it on the ground.  
"You scared me," I answer him quietly too.  
"I just knocked on the door."  
" What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"  
He looks on both sides of the corridor, making sure there's no one there. Then he takes a step towards me and gently pushes me into the room. He closes the door behind him and locks it. I leave Clima Tact leaning against the wall, now that there is no longer any danger.  
I look at Sanji, barely lit by the faint light coming through the window. He is wearing one of his suits, but no jacket. It is past midnight. I feel an outburst of shame because I'm only wearing a silk very short nightgown that I found in a wardrobe. It smelled clean, although it is quite revealing. He seems to notice it too, but doesn't make any comments or make his usual pervert face. Actually, he seems worried. I wonder where he comes from at this hour.  
"I was just walking around," he says, answering the question I didn't get to ask.  
" Can't you sleep again? "  
"No. Physically and mentally I am exhausted, but I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see you. I needed... " he takes a step towards me and hugs me tigh. " Thank God you are well. "  
He buries the face in my hair and breathes deeply.  
"Sanji, what's happe... ? "I can't finish the question because he kisses me suddenly.  
It is not a soft kiss, nor passionate, but rather... with need. He pushes me against the wall next to the bed, putting his hand on my head so as it isn't hit.  
My breathing acelerates in those few seconds. I didn't realise how much I needed him too. I put my fingers in his hair and bring him closer to me. He grabs me by the waist and does the same. One of his hands goes down to my thigh and starts to rise little by little until it slips under my nightgown. Without stopping kissing him, I unbutton his shirt and put my hands inside. He lets out a groan when I unintentionally press on one of the bruises he still has, as result of the battle.  
"I'm sorry," I say in a whisper.  
"Don't stop," he answers in my ear.  
His breath on my neck makes all my hair stand up. Sanji starts kissing my throat, going lower and lower down to my collarbone. With one finger, he pulls one of the straps off the nightie, which slides down my shoulder and then down my arm.  
He gently caresses my breast without removing the silk. I'm not wearing a bra, so the nipple quickly gets hard. He move aways for a moment from my neck and we stay face to face. Despite the low light, I can see the desire on her face. Suddenly, I grab her crotch. I don't use much force, but he groans with surprise.  
"Shhh" " I shush him. " Someone could hear us. "  
" Who could? "he asks me before kissing me again.  
"The whole castle," I answer, separating myself.  
"Then I'll try not to scream," he whispers, biting my ear. " Although I can't speak for you. "  
With an incredible sleight of hand, the result of all the years I've been stealing wallets, I undo his trousers and put my hand inside. I grab his penis with one hand and start moving it up and down. Sanji stops biting my ear and starts breathing heavily. He rests both hands on the wall next to my head.  
"I love you," he says in a whisper.  
"I love you too" I reply touching his hair.  
"I love you," he repeats. "I needed to tell you. I needed to see you. I needed... I need you. "  
Then he takes my hand away, lifts me in his arms and throws us both on the bed. He kisses me again with the same need as in the beginning. I start to pull down his trousers with my legs, but he moves away from my mouth and starts to go down until he reaches my breasts. The nightie slides down until they're exposed, and Sanji starts licking them. First slowly, then faster. I pull his hair gently. His hand, which was caressing my thigh up and down, goes even higher, grabbing the elastic of my panties and pulling them down.  
I would have thrown them to the ground without any consideration, but he carefully folds them and tucks them under the pillow. All that, without stopping licking my breasts, and even taking a slight bite. I let out a soft moan, unable to hold any longer, and he raises his head enough to tell me:  
"Shhh. Someone could hear us."  
He looks me with lust and a spark of madness before he starts to slide down. When his head is between my legs, he turns it and starts kissing my thigh very lightly on the inside. His stubble makes me tingle all over my body.  
Sanji slowly climbs until he finally reaches his destination. I'm very wet, and that wetness is beginning to merge with his tongue. It's such an intense feeling... I can feel his tongue soft and warm, but firm at the same time, sliding over me. At first he's slow, then fast, then slow again as he alternates with very soft kisses and bites.  
Waves of pleasure run through me again and again. I feel so hot inside me that I think I'm going to burn. Sanji continues, tireless, until I finally burst into flames with a moan. I quickly cover my mouth to drown out the sound.  
He moves away from me and climbs back up to my face. He takes my hand away to kiss me and gets inside me. Now it is he who moans in my mouth.  
"I love you "I can tell him by separating us for a moment.  
We move at the same rhythm. He grabs me with both hands around my waist and brings me closer to him. I feel him more inside me and I bite his neck for not screaming. He gasps and bites the pillow. I surround his body with my legs, and then he stands up, lifts me up, and turns us around, sitting me on him.  
I take off my nightie by the head, both of us are already completely naked. I slow down a little, running my hands around his chest and his abdominals, which are perfectly defined.  
Sanji's hands go up my thighs to my back, pushing me towards him. Our naked breasts collide, wet with sweat, and the mouths meet again. He presses my back against himself, and I push myself against him.  
I feel him tense, holding me tighter, and he moans in my mouth again. And then his whole body relaxes.  
"I love you," he whispers to me softly, so much so that I can barely hear him.  
My lips and his are barely an centemeter apart, he brushes his nose with mine and kisses me again and again.  
  
"Now I'm glad that Robin wanted a single room instead of sharing it with me," I tell him a little later.  
We are lying on the bed, covered up to the waist. My head is resting on his chest and our legs are intertwined. He surrounds me with one arm and with the other holds a cigarette. He takes a puff and expels the smoke.  
"Remind me to thank her" he answers.  
"Now that I think about it," I say, raising my head to look at him, "I haven't thanked you for stopping my wedding."  
Sanji laughs softly without making a sound.  
"That filthy lion was a pervert," he says looking at the ceiling. "You can marry any decent man you want and I won't stand in your way. But I refuse to let you marry another pervert than me. "  
Now I'm the one who's laughing.  
"You're not a pervert," he snorts in disagreement. "You are a gentleman. Look, you've lent me your shirt so that I don't get cold " I point to my body.  
I'm wearing his shirt, which is big and reaches halfway my thighs.  
"I've lent you my shirt because if you wear it long enough, then it will smell of you. "  
"But right now yourself smells of me " and I'm lifting myself up a bit to give him a kiss.  
"Best smell in the world," he says with a purr.  
"That sounded a little perverted," I confess, laughing.  
" See?  
"So you're a pervert in the street, but a gentleman in bed. "  
He smiles, puts out his cigarette and holds me tightly against him. Little by little, sleep overcomes us both.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	14. Under the stars

It's a beautiful day. The sky is clear, the sea is calm and the wind is in our favor. I lean against the starboard gunwale and close my eyes. It's nice to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin after so many days under the clouds and shadows of that infernal ship. A soft violin melody reaches my ears. I turn my head and see Brook playing in the sterncastle with his eyes closed. Well, he doesn't have eyes so... whatever.  
It must have been hard to be alone for so long in those gloomy waters. I remember my time with Arlong. It was horrible, but at least once in a while I could see Nojiko and the townspeople. A small feeling of nostalgia comes over me as I remember my home, followed by a pang of anxiety, as always when I remember the times with Arlong. I shake my head and look at the sea again. I don't want to remember that times.  
I turn to the deck, where Chopper has just come up from seeing Zoro. The swordsman is still pretty badly hurt after whatever happened with Kuma at Thriller Bark. He hasn't wanted to say anything, even when Luffy asked him.  
I look at to the horizon and check the Log Pose. We're on the right course for the Sabaody Archipelago. Which makes me remember that I have a book in my room with a rough map of the nearby islands I want to consult.  
I head inside the ship and down the stairs. I walk past the aquarium, which is teeming with fish. The boys' room door is closed. Chopper has forbidden Zoro to go out for training until further notice. I enter our dormitory and leave the door open. As I rummage through all the books in the room (mostly of them are Robin's) I hear someone walk down to the rooms, but no door is heard opening. I get the slight scent of Sanji's menthol cigarettes and decide to sneak up to the door.  
I look through the gap in the door and see that the cook is standing in front of his room, his back to me. He puts his hand on the doorknob, but doesn't open it. Finally, he drops it to the side and takes a long drag on his cigarette. He grabs the knob again and squeezes it until his knuckles turn white, but he doesn't turn it. Then he lets go and bangs his fist punches the door.  
" What? " Zoro replies on the other side.  
He seems to be using more force than he meant to, because he jumps when hears the swordsman's voice. Sanji steps back, uncomfortable. A noise from the room seems to indicate that Zoro has gotten up and is going to the door.  
"Pssst" I call him.  
The cook turns around and looks surprised to see me. He clearly didn't want anyone to find him there. I wave him over and he doesn't hesitate. He enters the bedroom, I turn off the light and close the door a moment before Zoro opens his.  
" What's wrong? " Zoro shouts in the corridor.  
We hear him walking to the stairs and climb them. Sanji motions to open the door to leave, but I hold his hand with mine and shake my head.  
"Wait," I whisper, waiting.  
Then, just as I expected, we hear high-pitched screams from the deck. It's Chopper yelling at Zoro to go back to bed. A short discussion ensues, ending with the swordsman's footsteps coming back down the steps, followed by someone else's. I stick my ear to the door.  
Too heavy to be Chopper, too light to be Franky, too elegant to be Luffy, Usopp or Brook....  
" Properly escorted patient, doctor! "shouts Robin's voice jokingly imitating a marine.  
Hearing it, Sanji and I open our eyes wide. I start gesturing very quickly for him to put out the cigarette. The cook crushes it against the sole of his shoe nervously, and in the process unintentionally hits the door. We both freeze for a moment.  
They can't catch us here. Well, they can me, it's my bedroom. But not with him, alone, with the door closed... I force myself to think coldly. I point to the bed and he looks at me blankly. I take two quick steps and lift the edge of the sheets pointing to the space underneath. Sanji nods and quickly get in. I turn around and pretend I'm still rummaging through the books on the table. Robin knocks on the door twice.  
" Nami? "she says, opening the door. "Are you here?"  
I look up from the book and smile at her, showing her the book.  
"I had to look up some maps. "  
"Of course, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. "  
She turns on the light switch next to her.  
"With the little light coming through the window, you can't see much," she says.  
"Much better, thank you."  
" Do you need help? "  
"Don't worry, it's just a refresher. I have locked the helm and we're on course, so I'll be here for a while."  
Robin opens her mouth to say something else, but quickly closes it and takes two quick sniffs, like smelling something. She raises an eyebrow and looks at me.  
"Fine" she says, smiling. She walks over to the bookshelf and picks up one of her books. " I'll be reading on the deck. "  
She leaves the bedroom and closes the door behind her. I close the book and lean on the table. My heart is pounding. After I hear Robin's footsteps coming up the stairs, Sanji's head peeks out from under my bed.  
"It was a close call," he says in a whisper.  
"I'm sure she suspects something."  
"I don't think so," he stands up and takes out another cigarette, ready to light it.  
"Stop that," I slap his hand. I'm sure she recognized the smell," I walk over to the door and bolt it, just in case.  
" And why didn't she say anything? "  
"I don't know. Maybe she wants to have proof, or talk to me first, or... Maybe she wants to be discreet, or... "  
"Nami," she hugs me from behind and kisses me on the neck. " It's okay. "  
"Hey, why were you just standing there, in front of your bedroom, without coming in? "  
I notice how Sanji suddenly tenses up and I turn to look at him. He has the same look he had that day after the battle at Thriller Bark.  
"I... well... Don't tell anyone, but I was a little worried about that asshole swordsman and wanted to see how he was doing. "  
I tilt my head to one side and raise an eyebrow. It's not just that, there's something else, but I don't say anything. He pulls me close to him, puts his lips on my forehead and stays like that for a while. I embrace him and close my eyes. I breathe in his scent: he smells of culinary spices. I love that smell. I feel the tension in his body slowly disappear.  
"Nami," he whispers to me. " You told Robin you were going to stay down here for a while, didn't you? We could... "  
He grabs me by the waist, brings me close to him and tries to kiss me, but I pull out of his embrace and separate us abruptly.  
" No," I whisper loudly "Are you crazy? Everyone is upstairs! Awake! And Zoro's in the next room...!"  
Sanji bursts out laughing and comes over to me.  
"I was joking," he says. " But I had an idea. Tonight, when everyone has gone to bed, I'll meet you at the gym, okay?"  
I hesitate for a moment. What if someone catches us? Although, thinking about it coldly, it's still like the other times we've been together in the kitchen, and we haven't been alone for many days, not counting right now...  
"All right," I agreed. " At midnight, and make sure everyone is asleep. "  
He nods with a smile and approaches the door, ready to leave.  
"I'm going to check that no one is outside," I tell ahead of him.  
I undo the latch and am about to open the door when Sanji puts his hand on it.  
"Wait a moment," he whispers.  
I turn my head to ask him what's wrong and before I can say a word, he kisses me passionately. He pushes me against the door, one hand on my waist and the other on my neck. I respond to his kiss but when I go to hug him to hold closer, he pulls away from me.  
"Don't forget to wait a while before going on deck so it doesn't look like we were together," he says with a half smile.  
He takes out a cigarette, winks at me and leaves the bedroom without looking out first.  
I stay leaning against the door for a moment, trying to pace my breathing and discovering that my legs are shaking. I can't help but smile. I like the way Sanji makes me feel....  
A loud bang from the deck put me on my guard. I rush out of the room, ignoring Sanji's advice, and go up on deck, where I find the most surreal scene I could have imagined. There is an unconscious mermaid on the floor.  
  
I lean on the window ledge. I'm in the crow's nest, the gym of the ship. As Zoro is convalescing, no one comes up here now. I contemplate the scenery outside.  
The moon is just a thin curved line in the sky, making it easy to see the stars. The night is clear, cloudless and windless. I watch the distant horizon, enjoying the silence of the night. I had missed the joy of being in the sun, but there is a certain peace in nights like this that I have also missed.  
A faint noise that gradually increases interrupts that silence. A few seconds later, the trapdoor opens and Sanji's head appears. He climbs completely and when he closes the trapdoor, I rush at him, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. Sanji loses his balance in surprise and we both almost fall, but at the last moment he puts an arm around me and manages to stay on his feet.  
"Nami," he says surprised, pulling away from me "wait a minute. I don't want to mess this up."  
Then I notice he's holding something in his other hand: a wicker basket.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't see it... What did you bring?"  
"Well, I thought we could come up here and make an evening picnic," he puts the basket down, takes out a plaid blanket, and spreads it on the floor. " I was going to bring some candles too, but then I thought you wouldn't want to light them in case someone saw the brightness."  
I stare at him, saying nothing.  
" What's wrong? " he asks. "Don't you like it?"  
I throw myself at him again, this time making sure he has nothing in his hands. Now he's ready, wraps his arms around me, responds to my kiss, and we roll on the floor over the blanket. When I stay on top of him, I pull away and tell:  
"That's perfect. Thank you so much. But it would still be perfect even if you hadn't brought anything," I give him a quick kiss. "I just wanted to be with you."  
He puts his hand on my neck and pulls me for another kiss. He puts his another hand under my shirt and caress my bare back. Moments later, we are both naked from the waist up. Sanji tries to turn me around to get on top, but I push him off againts the floor. I kiss his neck and move down his chest. He can't hold back a giggle. The first time I found out he was ticklish I thought it was adorable.  
"If this bothers you, I can stop," I say, resting my chin on his belly.  
"I think I can handle it," she says, biting his lip.  
I move my head slightly so that the hair caresses his skin. He remains stoic for a few seconds, until he shudders again from the tickling. I can't help but laugh too. He sits up and says to me:  
"If I wanted to, I could tickle you too but... " he interrupts himself when I rise up until our faces are at the same height. With one hand I have unbuckled his belt and pants.  
"You didn't let me get to the part where you're not ticklish. "  
I kiss him and push him back to lie down. I go back over his chest and belly forming a path of kisses. This time, there are no tickle complaints. When I go over the edge of his pants, Sanji lets out a long sigh of pleasure. I look up and our gazes meet before I take his dick in my mouth.  
I hear him moan softly and feel him get even harder against my lips. I grab him with one hand and start moving it up and down without stopping licking. My free hand caress up and down his abs. I love those well-defined muscles.  
I increase the speed at which I suck and push it all the way into my mouth. Sanji lets out a stifled moan and reaches for my hand with his, intertwining our fingers. I feel him tremble more and more with pleasure and he squeezes my hand.  
I keep sucking and licking, from the base of his member to the top, making a lip movement that I know he loves. He lets out another moan and then sits up, pulling me until our lips meet and rolling me over until he is on top. Still kissing my mouth, neck and face, he lifts my skirt and I can see him surprised. I took off my underwear earlier, without him noticing.  
Then he gets in me. Easily, as I am quite wet. And he isn't smooth and slow, but fast and passionate. We moan into each other's mouths and a few moments later I feel him come. We pull apart just a few inches to catch our breath and he looks at me worriedly.  
"I'm sorry," he whispers, "I should have waited for you come too..."  
I silence him with a quick kiss on the lips and stare him as I push his hair away from his face with one finger.  
"That was just the first round," I whisper back.  
We both sit up and I search through our clothes until I find his shirt. I wear it on with only two buttons and he pulls his jacket over his skin naked. I keep that image in my head, because he looks more attractive than usual.  
"Well, you said this was a picnic, didn't you? "I said, "Do you bring anything to eat?"  
"I brought the blanket, I thought you were bringing the food."  
I laugh, shaking my head as he takes a lunch box out of the basket and puts it between us. When he opens it I get a familiar smell.  
"It's tangerine flan," I guess with delight. "Just like that night."  
The night we left Cocoyasi, when he consoled me for all that had happened.  
"Yes. It hasn't been a year yet, but it seems so long ago."  
"As a flirting attempt it was pretty bad, but got I liked you"  
"I wasn't trying to flirt."  
"Yeah, right."  
"You were the one who kissed me first."  
"And you were a pervert from the start. "  
"Admit it, you love it when I'm a pervert and yell at you how pretty you are in front of everyone."  
I smile and don't answer him. We finish our flan and Sanji moves to my side. He puts an arm around my shoulders and we stare at the stars through the window leaning against the center mast.  
"We'll reach Sabaody in a few days," I mutter under my breath.  
"And if it's an island as big as people say, we might lose ourselves by a few hours."  
"It's true, our real date! "  
He caress my shoulder in circles with his finger.  
"I wanted our first time to be then, and not on the kitchen floor. You know, flowers, a walk, dinner... "  
How romantic. I push myself against him purring.  
"I prefer the kitchen floor," I tell him. " It's not as wonderful but it's more authentic. I don't want flowers or rides, Sanji. I want you, I love you and we are pirates."  
"When I'm with you I don't feel like a pirate, or a cook. I just feel... myself."  
" A pervert man who will do anything for a woman? "I ask him jokingly.  
He seems a little annoyed.  
"I'm beginning to think that you really want me to behave like a pervert when we're alon....  
I grab his face, turn it to me and give him a long kiss. He pulls away and bumps his nose against mine softly.  
"I love you too," he whispers. Very, very much. More than..."  
He interrupts and kisses me again. I move my leg and sit on top of him.  
" Round two?"  
Sanji smiles and starts undoing the buttons of his shirt.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


	15. Sabaody I

With a long sigh, I lay down on the bed, over that faded bedspread. It's been a long day. In the another bed, Robin takes off her hat and reaches into her bag for something. We're in a double room in a seedy hotel in the back streets of Sabaody Archipelago.  
After Camie's kidnapping, the raid on the slave auction house and the subsequent escape of the Marines, the mechanic Hatchi knew turned out to be Silvers Rayleigh, the Pirate King's right"hand man, who recommended us hiding out until things calm down... Too many things. I'm so tired to remember them all.  
"I am going to take a shower before bed," Robin says, "but I think it's useless to get into this bed being clean."  
"Maybe the sheets are better than the bedspread" I reply, sitting up.  
We uncover one of the beds. The fabric is quite clean, but there's a musty smell, as if they hadn't dried properly. I let out an agonized groan, remembering our spotless beds in the Sunny.  
" Is it sure we can't go back to the ship? "  
After discussing it several times, and following Rayleigh's advice, we decided to hide for the next three days away from the ship, the first place they would look for us. We also considered splitting up, but we all thought it was safer to stay together in case of any other danger. So we ended up here, in this hotel, if this can be called so.  
This area of the archipelago is dangerous, but at least we can trust that anyone won't give us away. Nobody wants the Marines around here.  
"I'll go check on the guys" I tell Robin.  
I hesitate for a moment, but finally, I take the Clima Tact. I don't plan to leave this dingy building, but you never know.  
"I think I'll finally take a shower and go to bed early," she decides. " Don't wake me when you get back."  
"I don't think I come back late. I'm just going to... "  
I don't finish the sentence because Robin gives me an enigmatic smile. Why is she looking at me like that? She doesn't know about Sanji and me, does she? Or maybe yes? We say goodbye each other and I leave the room, still uneasy. It's so hard to know what Robin is usually thinking about. But I'm sure she doesn't know anything, it's all my imagination...  
In the hallway I see Chopper run across from one room to another followed by Usopp. Luffy's outstretched arm follows them and then goes the body of his owner. Damn, with how outrageous they are and how much we stand out we're going to be discovered tonight. Franky chases them out of the room, scolding them to be quiet. They return to the first room, where I peek in to see Brook laughing with them.  
I follow Franky into the other room. Zoro is lying on a bed on the quilt, fully dressed and snoring.  
" How do you organize finally? "I ask the shipwright.  
There weren't many rooms to choose from, and Robin and I stayed in the only one with two beds. The others were two three-bed rooms and a single. When we went to ours, the rest were arguing for the others.  
"Zoro suggested that Luffy take the single room, since he's the captain," he says, "but Luffy refused, saying he'd get bored by himself, so in the end we drew lots by taking Zoro out of the draw. "  
" Why? "I ask in surprise.  
"Because I thought that if we left him alone he could get lost again, and that isn't convenient right now."  
"Good thinking," I nod in agreement.  
"And the winner is the cook, Chopper sleeps here with us," he points to Zoro and himself, "and in front of, Luffy, Ussop and Brook."  
Great, Sanji has a room to himself. Wait a minute... maybe this is what Robin meant by coming back late. No way... she couldn't have found out, could she?  
" Saaaaaaaaaanji! "Luffy's voice comes to us from the other room. " I'm hungry."  
"You've already eaten what we bought for dinner," answers the cook in the same room, from a position where I can't see him.  
"Make me something to eat," Luffy asks.  
"I don't have anything to cook with, you idiot. "  
"Well, let's go buy something," he looks towards us and notices me. "Ah, Nami, give me money for food."  
"No way," I replied. " With that money we have to pay the ship's cover, and what's left over is for any unforeseen events we may have in the gyojin island."  
"Nami," a deep voice calls from behind me.  
I turn around and catch a bag Zoro throws at me, without opening my eyes.  
"Let him eat my dinner," the swordsman says. "But don't let him leave the hotel."  
I cross to the other room and give the food to Luffy, who looks pleased. I tell them all that I'm going to bed too and say goodnight. I see Sanji glance sideways at me as he lights up a cigarette, but he looks away quickly. I leave them and as I walk to my room I think about how I can sneak out later. Maybe when Robin falls asleep...  
Instead of going into my room, I turn around and walk to the other end of the hallway. The boys have closed the doors so they don't see me cross. I stand in front of the room next to Zoro, Franky and Chopper's and make sure no one is in the hallway. Then I take out a set of lock picks that I always carry with me and work the lock for a few minutes until I get it open. I enter the room and lock it behind me.  
Yes, no doubt about it, that's Sanji's room. There are the bags of food we have been able to buy in a hurry. On the bed is his jacket. I run a finger caressing the black cotton fabric as I look around the rest of the room. It's the same as mine but inverted, except for the detail of having only a double bed and...  
Then I notice the bathroom. In our room there is only a shower, but here it has a bathtub. I turn on the light to examine it well. The walls of the bathroom have a lot of damp stains, like ours, but the bathtub looks quite clean. I bite my lip, hesitating, and finally make up my mind.  
  
A while later, I hear how the door is opening and someone walks in. Sanji peeks into the bathroom, intending to turn off the light, and then he sees me, completely submerged in the tub with the exception of my head. The cigarette in his mouth falls out in surprise. I pull a hand out of the water and greet him with a provocative smile.  
"Nami what... what are you doing here? " he says trying to recover from his surprise.  
"I was waiting for you," I answer as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. " And I saw that your room has a bathtub... Are you coming in here with me? "I splash a few drops of water on him.  
"You're crazy," he says, slightly annoyed. " What if someone else had come with me? "  
"I would have said that you let me take a bath here because my room didn't have a bathtub and I would have hit you for trying to spy on me in the bathroom."  
He grunts a little, not entirely satisfied. He leans against the door frame and loosens the knot in his tie. Despite being submerged in hot water, a surge of heat rushes through me at the sight of him making that gesture.  
"Hey..." he says, looking at the floor. " I... wanted to talk to you."  
" About what? "  
"About all this " he points to both of us respectively.  
"About catching me naked in your room? " I answer, lifting one leg above the water. "Get in the tub and let's talk... "  
"Nami," he interrupts me solemnly, without smiling. " I'm serious."  
I put my leg back in the water and stare at him slowly. He hasn't looked at me the whole time and his expression is somber, as if he feels guilty about something.  
"Okay," I agree in the same tone, all joking aside. "Let's talk."  
I stand up, covered in suds, and Sanji is quick to throw me a towel and turn his back to me. He exits the bathroom and closes the door. I wrap the towel around my body and a shiver runs up and down my body that has nothing to do with the temperature.   
I stand there for a while. Something inside me doesn't want to come out to talk to him. It's stupid but I have a bad feeling. A few minutes later, I shake my head and walk out of the bathroom determined.  
Sanji is leaning on the ledge of a small window that can't open all the way, smoking and looking out at the landscape of mangroves and bubbles. He hasn't turned on any lights in the room, so the only illumination comes from outside. The sunset has long since passed, so the sky is tinged with a purple hue that gives the atmosphere a melancholy aura. I stand next to him and look at him without saying anything. He turns his head towards me and looks at me as if he is remembering something.  
"We can't keep doing this anymore," he says softly. " You and me" he clarifies.  
It's as if a pitcher of ice water is being poured over me. I cross my arms tightly.  
" Why do you say that? "I ask in a tiny voice.  
"Because it's not right," he answers bitterly, throwing his cigarette out the window. " None of this is right."  
"Sanji... what's wrong? Do you feel guilty about hiding it from the others? If so, we can... "  
"I don't want to tell, Nami. I want it to disappear completely. "  
I feel that something squeezes my chest. He can't be serious.  
" What's that? " I can barely speak with the lump in my throat. " What we both feel? "  
"Yes."  
" Why? Is it so bad for you that I love you and you love m...? "  
"The problem is that the way you feel about me is not the way I feel about you," he says sharply.  
He hasn't said that. This isn't real, none of this is happening. It's just a nightmare, I've fallen asleep in my room and I'm going to wake up any minute....  
I just don't wake up. I take a step back, moving away from him with tears in my eyes and Sanji advances towards me in turn, putting his hands on my bare shoulders. I try to pull away from him, but he holds me on tight, pulling me closer to him.  
"You say you love me," he says, his face twitching with pain, "and that makes you happy. You're still the same when you're not with me. On the other hand, I don't know how to love you in any other way than agonizing in pain. Every day I find it harder to be without you. When I think that something bad might happen to you, I can hardly breathe well. You love me, but I need you more than is good for both of us."  
Sanji is the living expression of despair. Those words seem to have been ripped out of him until he is raw. His lower lip trembles hard. Despite seeing him like this, I can't help but feel a little relieved. I reach out for his face, but he releases me and pulls away.  
"Sanji, you're wrong," I say in a soft voice. " I feel that way too. Do you think I don't constantly worry that something bad will happen to you, or...?"  
"I put you first," he interrupts me with a guilt-laden whisper.  
I look at him blankly. He clenches his fists tightly until his knuckles turn white.  
"You know what happened at Thriller Bark, don't you? " he continues speaking.  
I nod. Sanji himself told us what Zoro said to Kuma before he blacked out.  
"I put you first" he repeats. "I told it in a way that seemed how Zoro knocked me unconscious from the surprise of the blow, but it's not true. I foresaw his attack, I could have dodged it, but at the last moment I thought of you and hesitated. I wanted to be with you one last time before I died. I put you before everything else because I love you too much."  
I move a little closer to him, carefully and without touching him, but he doesn't move away.  
"I promised myself I wouldn't let this come between me and the crew. That's why I can't afford to keep supporting it. My loyalty to Luffy comes before everything else. "  
He falls silent and looks away. He leans on the window ledge again and says nothing. We remain silent. I'm trying to process it all.  
"If my opinion matters for anyone," I begin to say slowly after a while, "I think you carry a guilt that isn't belong to yours. You think your feelings for me will make you choose between me and your loyalty, but I know Luffy well enough to know that he wouldn't let that happen. Just like he wouldn't want you to break your heart and mine."  
I walk over to him and put my hand on his.  
"Sanji, too much has happened today. We are all exhausted, enraged and scared."  
He lets out a bitter laugh.  
"Yes, do you know what happened today too? "he asks me. " All I could think about was that nothing happened to you when the Marines surrounded the auction house. I put you before anyone else again, that's what happened today. That's why we have to end this now. And I ask you please don't make it harder for me."  
" That I don't make it harder for you. Are you asking me to step aside placidly, with a smile? Without fight for you, for this? "  
"I don't want you to fight for me. I want you to let me go, just like I am letting you go."  
"How can you say you love me and hurt me like this?! " I blurt out loud. "You're not being loyal like you think, you're just acting like a coward making an excuse that you love me too much..."  
" It's not an excuse! "  
" Yes, it is! If you loved me...! "  
He grabs my hand over his, pulls me to him as he turns and kisses me passionately. I let out a choked moan against his mouth in surprise, but I react quickly wrapping my arms around him. I don't know what he intends with this, but I'm not going to let him pull away again so easily. Sanji squeezes me in his arms too, pulling me closer to his body as if he wants to melt into me. He pulls away just a few inches and looks into my eyes.  
"I love you more than I could show you ever" he says desperately.  
And he continues to kiss me passionately. I run my fingers through his hair, tugging a little. With my free hand I start to undo the buttons on his shirt, but he lets me go, pulls my hand away and take it off with a jerk, breaking several buttons. Both of us we finish taking it off and he throws it on the floor.  
Without stopping kissing, I unbutton and remove his pants with both hands. He unties my towel and throws it away without a second thought. With both of us completely naked, I jump towards him, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Sanji effortlessly holds me with one hand on my thigh and one on my back, pressing me against him. He moves towards the bed and drops in, lying on top of me.  
He caresses my whole body with eagerness. My breasts harden under his caresses, my pussy gets even wetter with his fingers. I moan into his mouth and squeeze his back with my hands. He grabs my hips and finally thrusts himself deep inside me. We both start moving at the same pace, panting at the same time.  
Sanji increases the speed and intensity of his thrusts, but I roll onto him and sit up on him. I pull him to me, so that Sanji is sitting up and I'm on my knees, still with him inside me. I wrap an arm around his shoulders and put a hand on the back of his neck.  
"Tell me again," I ask.  
"I love you," he says, holding my face in his hands.  
I start to move on top of him, slowly, still looking at us. He stares at me. I watch as he moistens his lips with the tongue and I increase my speed little by little. Finally, Sanji breaks eye contact and buries his face in my neck, kissing and licking it. I moan low in his ear as his hand moves from my waist to my breast.  
I completely give myself into the physical sensations, not knowing where my body begins and his ends. He increases his caresses and gentle nibbles until an intense wave of pleasure washes over me, causing me to let out a louder moan than I'd like, which Sanji smothers with a kiss.  
When my body is done shaking, he grabs me around the waist, stands up and pulls me to the wall. Still kissing me, he thrusts himself deep inside me again and again. I squeeze my legs tightly around his body and dig my nails into his back. He increases the speed more and more, until he stops dead in his tracks, his whole body trembling. I pull away from his mouth and bite his neck gently, making him moan more. I drop my legs to stand and he hugs me tightly.  
  
Later, on the bed, we are cuddled together, chest to chest still naked, our legs intertwined. We have been like this for a long time, without talking, although neither of us can fall asleep. I decide to break the silence and whisper, or more like implore him:  
"Sanji, please don't leave me. If you love me, if you really love me, don't leave me. Don't give up like this, let's fight together."  
He doesn't say anything, he just keeps caressing my back, as he has been doing all the time. He shakes his head and kisses my forehead.  
"Nami..." he answers, a while later.  
"Promise me that we'll at least try," I insist.  
"...okay" he finally agrees "We''ll try".  
I take a full breath for the first time all night, pull him even tighter against me and close my eyes. Slowly I fall asleep.  
  
I can't sleep well. I have a restless sleep, with constant nightmares, although I can't remember any of them clearly. When I am awakened by the faint light of dawn, I feel more tired than before I went to sleep. I gulp and take a deep breath to slow my heartbeat, accelerated by the nightmares.  
I stretch one arm back and turn around looking for Sanji, but find only air. I sit up quickly and touch the sheet, hoping it's warm and he's just gone to the bathroom.  
It's cold.  
My fingers brush against something rough. It's a paper note in Sanji's handwriting.  
"Sorry, I can't try."  
I drop it and notice how my eyes fill with tears. I hug my legs and bury my face in my knees. I wish this was just another nightmare. I want to wake up and realize that Sanji is still there, with me.  
But I don't wake up.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me, the creator! English isn't my mother tongue, and I have translated this fic with the help of a software and my basic-intermediate knowledges. If you are a native English reader and you find any error, mistake or type, I will be really grateful if you tell me.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ^^


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